FUMH: The Spouse Guide

Updated: Jul 22, 2020

My name is Matt and I've been married to Joanna, our amazing hero, for over nine years. We've known each other for 13 years and have had our ups and downs both with each other and in experiencing life, and I can honestly say that I've learned a lot in our time together so far. The picture below is of the two of us not long after we met. Weren't we cute? Well, she's cute and I'm just goofy.

At the onset of Joanna's health problems back in 2013, I didn't know how to deal with the situation. Her issues seemed to come on out of nowhere and I was ill-equipped to handle the role of spouse in any way.


I couldn't empathize. I couldn't give advice. I couldn't understand. Most importantly, I couldn't listen.


It took time, education, counseling and our love for each other to get us through...and for me to just scratch the surface of beginning to understand what she was going through. All I wanted and still want to do is fix everything for her. Unfortunately, I've had to learn that I can't fix everything and that sometimes just being there is the key.


In this section of But You Look So Healthy, I will chime in here and there with some advice, perceptions, resources and maybe a little humor about how a spouse or loved one of someone going through tough medical and/or physical challenges can be supportive, take care of themselves and also learn a few things along the way.

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