Some Days Are Just Tough

In past posts I’ve written about feeling ill-equipped to handle the role of spouse, the (still ongoing) process of learning that I can't fix everything, and just being there for my loved one. Those are all key components of becoming the best you can be as a partner, spouse, relative or friend of a loved one who suffers from a chronic illness such as Fibromyalgia.


However, some days are just tough…

  • tough to watch your loved one suffer a Fibro flare

  • tough to watch your loved one have a good Fibro day but is sick with a cold, the flu, etc.

  • tough to watch your loved one deal with a separate health issue unrelated to Fibro (i.e. back and/or neck problems, migraines, etc.)

If my loved one has managed to avoid a Fibro flare by doing everything “just right” I feel it is a tragedy if she gets socked with another health issue that sours an otherwise good day. THOSE ARE THE DAYS THAT REALLY FRUSTRATE ME!!


This is a time to put worry and anxiety to bed. One thing I need to remember in these instances, and I encourage you to do so as well, is that worry is essentially pointless. I am a HUGE worrier, so this is something that I struggle with on a minute-to-minute basis.


Worry is trying to control the uncontrollable. The Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, and other conditions that afflict our loved ones are often, if not always, out of our control. As caregivers and helpers, we need to only tackle the things within our control that can be beneficial for our loved ones.



What are some of the things that are in our control?

  • Listening

  • Assisting (by fetching ice packs, supplements, massagers, running errands, etc.)

  • Cooking (meals that are conducive to our loved one’s dietary needs, not ours; that means using ingredients that will NOT cause a flair)

  • Reassuring and supporting

  • Sacrificing (putting many things second to our loved one)

We’re all human. I know that changing our way of thinking, our way of eating, our way of living life…for the benefit of someone else…is very difficult!


No matter how hard it seems, after all some days are just tough, we have to remember that we’re called to love one another, and the well-being our most special loved one(s) should be a concern that rivals none other.

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